So having officially said “yes” to signing up to a programme that will help get me started on a journey to wellness (gosh, you can tell I’m training to be a social worker) … or perhaps a journey to provide my friends with just a little laughter in their day, I ventured back to a meeting with my personal trainer (still coming to grips with that term!) at the gym. This time I REMEMBERED the sports bra (I’m still traumatised from that experience last time), it didn’t bother me as much that NOONE had blind folds on (not even me) and I even knew where my car keys were before I left work. I have made a “note to self” though: find out when the middle aged mums go to the gym (instead of the 17 year old rugby players).
Upon arrival I thought it might be a good idea to change from jeans to these really sexy gym pant things, especially attractive because they don’t really allow for hiding much – and I was a little disappointed because my jeans went much better with the top I was wearing. Anyway, after making it through that LITTLE crisis, Roger (the personal trainer) says “right, we’re going to do a fitness assessment”. Awesome I thought, and as I was about to tell him “I can breathe (most of the time) and that’s about it” … he directed me towards equipment. HONESTLY, he did! It’s kinda weird really, because I know how fit (UNFIT) I am (sorry but I wouldn’t be signing up if I was fit!) … so how come he won’t take my word for it???
Feeling slightly smug that I had probably used some of the equipment last time (you know, the time I visited just for fun) he immediately started with some thing to test push strength (now I only know that’s what it was because I have the BOOK he recorded the results in … thank goodness there’s no national standard to meet). As I lay down on this bench thing, I have this sudden realisation that I’m not sure if I shaved under my arms this morning … seriously that’s what went through my mind!! I wonder if I can get an impaired performance mark for that. Fortunately as I moved from exercise to exercise, this thought seemed to leave my mind … and be replaced by OMG (that’s oh my goodness for those who are worried about my spirituality) my TOP is coming up at the back and I can’t pull it down because both my hands are going up and down trying to push a stupid handle in the air … yep, my last bit of dignity is heading out the window (because REMEMBER, there are windows at the gym, much to my disgust).
The thing that killed me (killed me slightly more than all the other stuff) was the step up things. I think Roger needs a new timer thingy (I’m GOING to find him a more accurate one) because 1 minute seemed to take forever … MIND YOU … the step I was trying to do step ups on was REALLY REALLY high … just remember I’m vertically challenged, I nearly needed one of those trampolines just to get up on the step … SERIOUSLY!
Last thing was a 3 minute bike ride … I must tell them that I think their exercycle needs servicing … I’m sure the 0 was missing from the timer and I did 30 minutes instead of 3 … I think I SUCK at exercycling … absolutely nothing funny about this at all.
NOW what’s really funny is on Thursday we’re going to do some flexibility test thing. I’m REALLY looking forward to that. But I’m absolutely sure that the HIGHLIGHT of my week is going to be the photo … yep, apparently Thursday is photo night … so can’t wait. REALLY. Note: these photos are not going to be published – just so you know.
Finally, as I’m leaving, they sign me up … EXCELLENT tactic, I can’t talk because I’m struggling to breath. I can’t hardly write cause I’m shaking so much … but I’m all signed up .. and I have this cool little swipe card that gets me in and out of the building … have a feeling I’ll be using it more to stay out of the building!
So there you have it. My 2nd official visit to the gym. I have no idea if I did okay or if I’m going to do okay – but I AM determined and wanting a permanent change … I have good friends & family who support me (well they kicked me out of the house to go on a bike ride tonight, but that could have been because I was REALLY grumpy and having me out of the way was best for THEM!).
Actually, one final point (if you’ve actually read this far), there’s a couple of verses in Isaiah 43 that spring to mind “don’t remember these earlier events; don’t recall these former events. Look I am about to do something new” … excellent … wonder if I can somehow twist that to mean that it would be okay for me to have one or two pieces of chocolate slice that are in the fridge … perhaps not … J
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