My new look ...

It’s been a few days since I’ve written a few words about my mid-life crisis … oops I mean … actually I haven’t got a clue WHAT to call these random acts of madness that I’m currently on.  What I do KNOW is that it’s making a HUGE difference to my life in how I feel and how I COPE with life, including my relationships with others and with FOOD!  I’m getting up at stupidly ridiculous times of the day to EXERCISE (sometimes I go completely overboard on this) and yet I still have ENERGY for the day!

I left Lark in the Park the other day feeling a bit GRUMPY … I miss the park!  However, there I was back at the gym, in a circle with about 15 other people trotting between different activities … well it was more like sprinting between activities because the PT (personal trainer for those not quite up with the slang) hasn’t got his TIMER set properly … then he finds it’s amusing to leave us doing DOUBLE UP rounds on some activities – I’m blessed so much that mine is STEP UPS, my favourite NOT.  The other activity that I find odd is when you’re lying on the GROUND doing some sort of movement that resembles the DEAD ANT game I used to play when I was FIVE.  About now, Roger the PT (I have come up with other meanings about now for PT, but can’t print them) suggests a CAMERA might be good … he laughs when I say NOT FUNNY … but I’m serious … IT’S NOT FUNNY.

Somewhere between leaving Lark in the Park and Sunday afternoon I’ve completely lost the plot – I blame the PT (yep, other meanings for these letters are really flowing now).  I’ve entered the Great Forest Event walk/run thing … was going to enter the 5km event but decided I was up for a CHALLENGE and entered the 10km.  BRILLIANT FIONA not.  Managed a 5km walk pretty easy on Sunday – although I did learn not to do that much exercise having just had BUTTER CHICKEN for lunch (settle Roger, it was my wedding anniversary lunch!) and a whole lot of WATER to drink … all the way around I was looking for friends’ houses so I could use their bathroom … UNFORTUNATELY, we don’t have that many FRIENDS in Levin!  Easter Monday I set off for a walk at 6:50am … WHO DOES THAT???  The short story is that I walked about 12kms … about 2km from HOME I rolled my ankle and it HURT … fortunately it was right opposite the home of some people from church … UNFORTUNATELY it was 7:00am, their curtains were closed … and I don’t think I’ve ever SPOKEN to them (note to self – change that next Sunday, especially if I plan on walking that way again!).  I hobbled home … but I still felt PRETTY pleased with what I’d achieved – especially when NEIL said he was expecting me to call ages ago and asked to be picked up in the CAR!!  He knows me well!

I CONSIDERED using my sore ankle as an excuse to avoid the gym on Tuesday morning, I didn’t (but I wanted to).  I caught the bus to PN and then walked through the SQUARE towards the gym … realising halfway through the walk I was wearing my SEXY gym pants, absolutely horrified … SERIOUSLY not a good look.  Then a bit further along I realised the ankle support thing I was wearing was actually too tight and cutting off my circulation … so to further humiliate myself in the middle of PN (remember I’m from LEVIN) I had to sit down and take my shoes & socks off so I could take the ankle thing off … my last bit of DIGNITY and COOLNESS has now gone – and I hadn’t even reached the gym yet.  PERFECT.  I had to slow my walk down not entirely because my ankle hurt, but I realised with HORROR that I was going to reach the gym early – and I haven’t noticed ANY seats outside the gym so I could hardly sit there and wait until it was my time to go in … I think I’d look really good in my SEXY gym pants just standing outside the gym … well at least I’d LOOK the part.  Anyway, despite my BEST efforts to slow down I got there about 20 minutes early so headed for the treadmill.  BRILLIANT plan … well it would have been, except I got the one that where the language was set to Chinese … and I didn’t know how to change it … I pressed a few buttons - which isn’t the best idea because the WRONG button makes the stupid thing go faster … and somehow accidently pressed the EMERGENCY STOP button too, I looked anxiously around to see if anyone was exiting the building … but no SADLY, it was just my treadmill that had stopped.  REALISED I was going to have to persevere with Chinese for now and got to it … was mostly a test for my ankle and fortunately (or maybe unfortunately) I coped fine.

AND now it’s my turn with Roger (the PT .. this is back to meaning personal trainer for now).  I don’t get to do my SBW impersonation today … I know why .. he’s WORRIED, I’m too good and I must be hurting him with my powerful punches … yeah right.  I guess because I’ve already worked hard on the treadmill it’s straight to doing some ODD stance on some bench thing, lifting a dumbbell (is that what they’re called) … and I’m meant to look in the MIRROR to check I’m doing it right … huh – like I’m going to be able to tell that – isn’t that HIS job?  And apart from that … I don’t look in MIRRORS, even side on … yuck … actually I’m feeling rather THANKFUL that my glasses are fogged up anyway, so even if I DID look in the mirror I couldn’t see anything anyway … AND to top it all off Roger, once again, has forgotten his COUNTING SKILLS … we only do this for THREE cycles … when did it change to FOUR … four sets of 12 DOES NOT EQUAL three sets of 12 … still I did it, just to be nice, I wouldn’t want the PT to feel bad about his counting ability … imagine the therapy he’ll need for THAT.

I can’t talk about the next activity, I don’t actually know what it’s CALLED.  It would be nice if they had little LABELS so then I could include them in my blog, although maybe they do and I can’t see them because my GLASSES are too fogged up?

Actually, I must mention that I’m feeling pretty SPECIAL now because for the last few days I’ve actually remembered to bring my little hand towel … you know to wipe the sweat off my face like all the pros do … TROUBLE is, I am needing it to wipe the sweat … just haven’t got to the FEELING LIKE A PRO stage yet … but again, at least I look the part.  And I’m there, trying pretty hard!

Onto some leg press machine thingy now, apparently I could do this all day … well at least I know my ACTING classes are paying off.  At this stage, Roger (my PT … imagine other words that those initials can stand for … I sure am!), suggests that with that blue top I’m wearing and the colour of my face, I could be one of those BERRIES off the RIBENA ad … I’m really wishing I was swinging one of those BALL things when he made this comment … trouble is I’m feeling LIKE one of those little berries at the moment.  And for the RECORD, I wear that blue top because it matches the boxing gloves – but Roger wouldn’t let me use these today … because he was SCARED … remember (and now I’m scared for my next session if he reads this).

To FINISH off I do get to swing that little BALL thing, but right now I’m trying to BREATH and not actually look like I’m doing some squat thing and swinging a ball in the middle of the gym … you know because I’m sure that someone who looks like the could be in a RIBENA ad could fade into the background …. even in the middle of the gym …   ONE more thought on this activity though – I was wondering how this could be considered ACTIVE rest and then I realised Roger has the activity wrong.  I think the proper way to do it would be for me to stand at one end of the gym and sort of swing the ball and release it (a bit like bowls) and then for ROGER to run and get it (from the other end of the car park) and RETURN it to me to repeat the process … that way I’m active when I swing it, and resting while he fetches it … I might SUGGEST it.

So that’s been my exercise dramas for the past few days.  I’m working hard on sorting the FOOD part out, it’s tricky though when you’ve NEVER given much thought to what you’re eating, so hasn’t been quite as easy as I thought.  I do have a problem though … somehow my clothes seem to have got baggy, must be a change in washing powder that’s caused it … even my sexy tight gym pants aren’t quite as clingy … how about that!