Tried to get back into some sort of routine today after being on my course in HAMILTON an d the at MASSEY for the first three days of this week. Why I thought heading to the GYM would be a good part of my routine at 8:30 in the morning I’ll NEVER know! I’m at that point with this whole GYM thing that although I really WANT to succeed at this and achieve my goals … I’m wondering if I CAN?!
It’s been nearly TWO weeks since I was last there and as I suspected Mr Personal Trainer wasn’t going to forget the weigh in … he must have known I was fragile because instead of setting the scales up in the MIDDLE of the gym (for all to see), they were hidden away in another room … I did suggest that we could probably just leave this out … but at some stage in one of my I CAN DO ANYTHING modes, I wrote I wanted to be accountable … dumb, I think I must have got it confused with one of my business studies lectures (from about 20 years ago).
With no time to recover from the weigh in (which by the way wasn’t brilliant, wasn’t worse than when I started but no progress due to weddings, wine and Marae stays and the odd personal crisis … or pure laziness on MY part), I was into my SBW impersonations again. I’m really feeling like ALMOST a pro at this – not incredibly fast yet, but I ALMOST have the whole left/right thing going okay … and I haven’t actually missed the glove things Roger is holding … and I haven’t actually hit ANYONE in the face (as much as sometimes I’d really quite LIKE to). The worst thing about this whole SBW thing is I can’t stop every two MINUTES to pull my top down … and even if I could stop, I can’t pull it down because I have gloves on … so my top is CLINGING to all the places I’d rather it didn’t …
Here’s a thought … WHY is it that people (i.e. my personal trainer) try to have a conversation with me when I can’t actually BREATHE … same sort of theory I guess when having waxing treatment and they say how is your day going … just as they pull a strip of wax off … I REALLY do wonder how long they had to train to develop that SKILL.
MY personal trainer doesn’t seem to BELIEVE what I say anymore … guess he missed that part in his TRAINING too (what happened to the customer is always RIGHT) … if I say yep that’s pretty hard, he doesn’t believe me, if I say I can’t do that (as in I CAN’T do press-ups) we do them ANYWAY. I hope I get to put my OPINION forward when he has his appraisal!
I managed to ALMOST survive the next few exercises (either that or I’m still TRYING to breathe from the SBW episode and I don’t notice what’s going on) and we move onto my absolute FAVOURITE … the step up things. Now sorry folks – I can’t do this and breathe, it’s just not possible. SURELY, if stepping up onto things was a good thing, elevators wouldn’t have been invented … I suck at these … So I start off doing 10 (well I think it was 30 but once again the trainer can’t count & doesn’t believe me) leading off with my right foot … and then lucky me I get to do ANOTHER lot leading off with my left foot … right now I’m pretty pleased I’m not an OCTOPUS … imagine having to do this 8 times …
BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE … so in-between times while I’m trying to not CRY and yet still breathe, there’s this other exercise with this ball thingy with a handle on the top. Now apparently there’s a name for this exercise and I can’t remember whether it was called ACTIVE or INACTIVE exercise (or some other name that Roger made up on the spot) exercise for in-between the stepping torture … but BELIEVE me, I have thought of a MUCH better name for it … pity I’m such a SWEET person or I’d share it … still much more of this and I suspect expressing my feelings might be a whole LOT EASIER!. You know, I was ALMOST over the embarrassment of wearing these really ugly gym pants, I’d managed to remember the sports bra, plus shave everywhere that might be seen … and then wouldn’t you know it, there I am in front of EVERYONE kinda of crouching swinging this weird looking BALL thing in the air … right about now is a good time to imagine just where I’d like to be PLACING (I mean swinging) that ball.
Anyway, a few more rounds of these two “ACTIVITIES” and I’m done. I’m heading to an interview now for a placement for my study and my face is absolutely BRIGHT RED … am trying to imagine it being described as RADIANT … but I suspect that’s stretching it, even for my imagination.
I feel I SHOULD mention … that while at the library today I climbed two flights of stairs (THREE TIMES) even though there’s an ELEVATOR … the fact that I can no LONGER move tonight is IRRELEVANT … maybe.
It has been suggested to me that I include some PHOTOS in this blog for those who learn visually ... IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ... well not unless my children sneak in during the exercises when I'm front of the mirror ... because I won't see them as my eyes are SHUT when I'm in front of mirrors ... SERIOUSLY ... why would I want to look in the mirror while I'm being particularly so uncoordinated??
So, not an incredibly funny blog from me this time. I want to SUCCEED at this, but (and I know you’re not MEANT to say but) I hope I can … and I’m not just making a complete twit of myself!
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